About

Who: 

Mary

Department of Defense Contractor Employee 2008-2009 in Iraq, 2010-2011 in Colorado.  Department of State Contractor Employee, 2012 in Iraq.

What:  

'Kayaking' the Ohio River on a fancy Hobie Island Adventure. Facing life with my service dog-in-training to have advocacy assist my therapy.  (Little disclaimer- I have an AMAZING therapist- DO NOT set out on an 'adventure' with a psychiatric diagnosis without combining it with professional help!)  I also had a support team with me the entire trip!

I worked with Purple Star Families to gain signatures for their petition to honor the veterans lost after their homecoming, and to encourage better programs to prevent further loss.

When:  

Completed! The river trip was 54 days; August 4 - September 27, 2013 the road trip to write about the trip will start October 9th, 2013.

Why:

I was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Major Depressive Disorder after returning home from ‘contract’ work in Iraq this past January.

Before the incidents that caused my disorder occurred, I doubted the diagnosis.  I believed it was an ‘invented excuse’ or ‘weakness’-  I am embarrassed of this prior opinion.

After over 9 months of fighting for benefits, I can no longer permit the disorder and the struggle for help allow me to be ashamed, humiliated and trapped.  To get well (or a new 'well'), I am going stand up for myself and others enduring this process and break the stigma of a psychiatric injury.  Without the financial support of my family, the work my therapist has done on credit, the assistance of my lawyer, and the support of my pastor, I would not be here.  I would have lost this fight.  I know others are not as fortunate.

22 Veterans commit suicide daily.  With contractors making up to 50% of the war personnel, we have not adequately tracked their psychiatric care- we simply do not know how many US and other nationalities supporting our soldiers have lost their personal war. 

For now, I will help with our known problem: the system is failing our veterans, and as a co-worker, I will stand and fight for better care and advocate for non-profit organizations assisting our veterans.

I will use my PTSD symptoms that have controlled my life to be used for a cause. 

I will take my power back by using my personal therapy to advocate for better options for treatment and faster access to benefits (for ALL who return from war zones)

I am not well, but I am not broken.  For me, my PTSD Diagnosis will be a starting point for a new, fuller life.  I may never be the ‘Same Mary’ but that does not make the ‘New Mary’ less powerful.

My family’s crest motto is Sans Peur.  Simply meaning, Without fear.  I will face the benefit process, my therapy and my life using this motto.  I will encourage others diagnosed to join me.