THANK YOU

To the generous, fabulous people who organized and attended The Fundraiser on Friday (and helped me clean on Saturday - you know who you are!)...

Thank you

We forgot to take pictures all night!  I guess that's a good sign!

To Adam Mccabe for coming out to Utah to speak and share the Purple Star Veterans and Families message...

Thank you

 (Again, we forgot to take pictures, so I only snagged a 'after' photo... poor Nala is done!)

To Anne & Bernie for heading to the Farmer's Market on a Saturday morning to gather signatures for Purple Star...

Thank you

(Not the Farmer's Market... but Marita did such a great job on finishing the stars on the trailer, I had to post it!)

To the beautiful & generous people at the Congregational United Church of Christ in Ogden, Utah....

Thank you

To Marion (a 2 tour Vietnam Veteran, Navy), Marita & Bernie and the strangers who helped us lift my beast of a boat at Pineview Reservoir....

Thank you

To Joe Norman for lending his mad talent to help build the PVC quarterdeck & "I will remember his name to thank him properly" for donating the EMT backboard, all for Henry...

Thank you

To my Henry...

Thank you

I'm not at my best & all this comingandgoing is difficult.  Very difficult.  Thank you for working like a champ.

 (he's getting SO BIG!!)

It's been a hard, amazing, hard, blessed, hard, break-down & crying, hard, supported, hard, and loved... long week & weekend.

Admittedly, I'm not doing too great.  But luckily I'm surrounded by people that can handle it & help.  I can't thank them enough.

We leave in 7 days....

Henry's Friends

Yes.

He has them.

With that face, how could he not.

And through him, I've gained friends too.  Wildly supportive friends who know my story and like us anyway.

yada-yada-yada... back to Henry!  

His buddies have helped with anything from a mesh travel bed, to bags of food for the trip, teaching him how to swim and most importantly, play-dates.  

He's a hard working puppy and needs his happy time too!

To all his friends (furry and human), Thank you for loving him as much as I do!

Micah and Henry

Cappucho and Henry (Cappucho matches the rug! And they both have creepy glow eyes...)

Nala and Henry hamming it up for the camera

Gus and Henry... your guess is as good as mine where one starts and one ends!

Henry's hiking buddy, Lacy, gave him swimming lessons... and it turned into a running, mud covered, rolling in cow poo, happy-happy dogs extravaganza...  you can feel the giddy puppy energy!  (Thank You DeeDee O'Brien for the photos!)

 (I KNOW!!  How ewwy-gooey cute is that?!)

The trailer is 'this-close' to being done!

I had a sweet gang of girls from church to give me a hand....

We're leaving in 13 days.  Now with a bright purple trailer folks can sign along the way.

Thank you, girls for your help!

We're hauling my boat to Pittsburgh behind a camper... and well, the trailer... it needed a little face-lift.  So after Marita & Bernie spent the morning at our Farmer's Market gathering signatures for Purple Star Families (also the dear ones being the SAG wagon for the adventure), they came back to help me prep the trailer for our journey.

We're far from done... we got the sanding, washing and priming done (with Henry's close supervision)... but we're on our way to a classier tow.

And to leave your Saturday with a smile, my cousin William and Henry enjoying a beautiful evening... 

cute overload.

Friday the 19th

Wow, July is going by WAY too fast.

I have an amazing support group (have I said that enough?!) and this is what they have put together for a final 'Hurrah!' 

Another great reason to come (other than an oldie-but-goodie movie!!) Adam Mccabe, Director of Veterans Outreach, from Purple Star Families will be joining us!  I hope you'll take the opportunity to come meet Adam and learn more about the Purple Star Families mission & why we're helping collect petition signatures while out on the river.

Hope to see you Friday night!!

Take a Step

Lately, it feels like this:

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

But really.. it's more like this:

I'm constantly fighting myself to see and trust the big picture.  The true reality...and it takes effort... it didn't before.

I'm not really alone. I'm not really jumping off into an abyss... although most of the time I feel like I am.  

My PTSD brain sometimes builds a scenario that's worse than the actual moment... I guess trying to keep me safe... most of the time preventing me from doing the things I love.

But not today.  Today I took another step in facing my reality.

Legal stuff isn't good to repeat... however, I need to celebrate that I completed another step in my benefit process.  And it sucked.  But I did it.  I had my moments, I had to take a break, but I did it.  

I feel I survived a pretty big step... a real step... a leap... with the help of some amazing, supportive friends and a good lawyer.

For others fighting for benefits- be it Veterans or Contractors- we can survive the steps.  We can push through the b.s.  
We aren't alone.

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”

Mark Twain

Why is jumping off cliffs/airplanes/helicopters easy compared to the benefit process?  I guess, sometimes, courage comes in the most mundane tasks... like waiting...  UGH.

Seriously....

Kiddos can make your day...

Love my neighbors.

I will miss you too, Miss Marley!

Schedule in Progress

It looks a little like this:

Saturday 0 9 9.1 Neville Island Groveton Boat Club At Marina
Sunday  9 16 25 Rochestur Beaver Creek + 1 River Harbor
Monday 25 21 46 Newell Kennedy Marina At Marina
Tuesday 46 19 65 Steubenville Weirton Marina
Wednesday 65 24 81 Short Creek Rayland Marina A Marina?
Thursday 81 21 102 Moundsville Prima Marina ?
Friday 102 26 128 Brooklyn Fishing Creek Valley Boat Docks ?
Saturday 128 27 155 St Mary's The Island Marina Marina
Sunday  155 17 172 Marietta
Monday 172 18 190 Blennerhassett Island On Island
Tuesday 190 18 208
Wednesday 208 18 226 Old Town Creek
Thursday 226 16 242 Old Lock Campground Old Lock Campground
Friday 242 23 265 Point Pleasant
Saturday 265 24 289 Lesage Island On Island
Sunday  289 20 309 Huntington ?
Monday 309 22 339 Ginat Creek Holiday Point Marina
Tuesday 339 24 363 Shawnee State Park SSP Marina Marina
Wednesday 363 25 388 Brush Creek ?
Thursday 388 21 409 Aberdeen Lively Lady Marina
Friday 409 28 437 Indian Mount Camp

ARGH!  

Yes, it's an unreadable mess pulled off a spreadsheet. It may TOO accurately show the mess in my brain... but it's a beginning.

I've been trying to start this since the move from the Mississippi to the Ohio... and my brain wouldn't let me.  Again, my friend Leslie stepped in and we started the tedious task of breaking down the miles... and we're only a third of the way down.

However, in the frustration of The Schedule and the frustration of my head not being the 'same'... I realized I was doing ok.  That my ok is not 'great'... just ok... and even though it's with a TON of help (hell, most of the time I sit there and stare), ok is pretty good.

Yup.

And for that, I'm grateful.  

(and wish the schedule would magically complete itself.  No?  Boo.)

The Answer Is Always 'No' If You Don't Ask

So, I still need a few things.  Not many, but a few.

With a list in hand, my friend Leslie took me to some local Utah businesses to ask for donations.

I'm horrible at this.

Leslie is not.

We got a few great leads on who makes donation decisions...

The Big Score:  A life jacket from Recreation Outlet.

(they also threw in 100% deet)

A quick introduction from Leslie, and the manager was happy to help... 

Local Utah business Rock

Thank you Recreation Outlet!!

(Henry takes his mamma's safety very seriously)

2009 Flashback

The Fourth of July is tomorrow.

I started going through my library of pictures to put up something patriotic... something that reminds me of why I love my country.

I found folders full.  Good and Bad reminders.

The one that makes me smile, and I need to smile, is from Veteran's Day 2009- not the 4th.

I was living on Camp Liberty (yes, snazzy comfy for a war zone standard) and my dear CHU (Containerized Housing Unit) mate's birthday was on Veteran's day. 

For dinner that night, as friends of War (yes, that's his given name!), we BBQ'd, played scrabble and ate horrible, expired, defrosted, moldy cake from the PX.

I remember... I had hung my hammock between the t-walls to relax. We used stacks of water bottles and a salvaged piece of plywood for a table.  The gross BBQ covered in dust was scrubbed and clean. The Baltimore Raven's blanket and cheesy cake decorations we ordered for his birthday gift arrived on time... and all was good.

Military and contractor co-workers stayed up late, played board games, talked about our families and enjoyed celebrating War and everything a decorated, honorable soldier represented.

I loved working with those people (even when I didn't like working with them *wink-wink*).  It's memories of folks like War and being in a place that makes you KNOW you're unbelievably lucky to be a citizen of the United States, that make me smile on holidays like the Fourth...

(Reflective belts still make me giggle...)

Happy Birthday our United States...  to many, many more